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Home Together! Just The Two of You!

Updated: Apr 2, 2022

What an unexpected conversation! You imagine everyone happy as pickles and ketchup on a hamburger! But, Eh Gad! No! Everybody is in about the same place as you. "Will this ever end? Change? Get Better? Here we go again! I quit!" Making dinner, whose taking out the garbage, putting the dishes in the dishwasher, folding the clothes that have been in the dryer for two days!

I have been working from home for years! Working for yourself requires a 24/7 dedication. Busy work, critical work, client relationships, tax work, phone work. You name it, it all gets done from one seat in the house. Rarely do I remember to change my setting. OMG What a difference! The kitchen table has a beautiful view straight ahead of me. There are no walls enclosing me. The kitchen is open to the living room, foyer and gorgeous views. The office is nothing more than a large box. Okay a small box. With both our desks and file drawers taking up most of the space. And none of this is on topic. I do wander.

But now you understand that we are both working from home since the husband retired twelve years ago. I thought I would go nuts, I did go nuts, but It was okay after a year. Nothing happened or changed. If you can't change it - you get used to it. No matter where you are, there he is. If you don't snap to it when he calls your name, you are ignoring him. He expects you to have lunch with him. He expects to have your full attention anytime he wants to interrupt you. Is it any better or different now that we are at the brink of war? I can't stand Fox News any better than I can trying to be the always pretty-happy wifey.

But now we get to the heart of the blog! My girlfriend admitted, confessed, cried about her husband being at home doing nothing but sitting at his computer 'playing games or googling'. Why is it so aggravating? It's very common, It even has a name: Retired Husband Syndrome — Women who suffer from RHS often report that their retired husbands are driving them 'mad'. Small and large changes happen immediately when you are both home, literally all day!"

This change takes quite a bit of adjustment. Each partner needs to maintain a sense of usefulness and achievement. This could be hobbies, recreation, social engagements, volunteering. One man walks his dog for two-three hours a day! Those that stay involved with the community, recreation, such as golf, arts and crafts have something to share later in the day.

Thinking and talking about this ahead of time, the year before you are both home alone together is very smart. What will you each do to fill your time so that you both feel fulfilled, content and happy? So not only think about this but construct a soft plan that can be adjusted. Talk regularly about how you are doing. (Mind-Reading still hasn't been added to the skill set of either partner.) Good communication, asking questions, listening and understanding will always be the key to happy unions. Click below for more information.


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